The importance of self-care


“The kindest thing you can do for yourself is to be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with” – Heather K O’Hara

I was very busy last week.

I was excited about MoreThanGrammar and all of the things I wanted to say. I created and shared adverts about my idea. I spent two days in front of my laptop, writing for this blog and my Facebook page. I never do that… but I felt so enthusiastic about MTG. It felt so important to share my ideas with the world.

Then on Friday evening, I couldn’t do anymore.

My body screamed ‘enough, please!’ My brain cried ‘stop!’ I felt stiff and unloved. All I could do for the rest of evening was curl up with a cup of tea. I was exhausted.

This is not the first time I have done this. I have a history of working hard. Too hard. I have a goal and then I work and work and work until I cannot do anymore.

I have learnt an important lesson from this: Although it is a great thing to be focussed and to get ‘in the zone,’* I need to look after the rest of me as well.

Let me put it this way:

Do you think it is better to take breaks in your work and be kind to yourself? Or get your work done super fast but burnout?

What do you think is better for your health?

Which habit would you prefer to have in your life?

Everyone is different. I have met people who can only work under pressure. Maybe that’s you too. If so, that’s wonderful. I am learning, however, that I am not that kind of person.

‘Learning’ is the key word here. I am still learning this. The breaks feel like ‘interruptions’ rather than a kindness. Still, I know that is the way I would rather live. I tried working hard and fast before and it didn’t work. So I am trying a new way. Like any learner, I am experimenting.

So what has ‘kindness’ got to do with confidence, Victoria?

If you are kind to yourself, you give yourself respect. When you respect yourself, you know what you can do (and what you can’t do). When you know yourself well, you are confident in yourself.

Think of yourself as your own best friend. You know your friend isn’t perfect, but you are still confident in what they can do. They are still your friend. So why not try a new habit of being your own best friend?


* ‘to be in the zone’ is when you are extremely focussed on what you want to do. You don’t see or do or think about anything else.


  • Did you find this interesting to read?
  • Are you excited about the possibilities more confidence can give you?
  • Would you like to have lessons to improve your own confidence?


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  1. […] an explanation: I have not written much here recently. I have been busy with other projects and my self-care is important to me. For the last few weeks, my self-care has been to improve my own […]

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