“I can’t do it”
“This is impossible”
“I’ll do that when I have more time”
“I’m too old/young/stupid”
Well STOP RIGHT NOW.
These are stories. And they stop us doing what we want.
They are also not true.
You are MORE than them.
And every time you tell them you are only making yourself smaller.
You only believe them because you tell yourself these things again and again (and again).
Now is the time to stop.
Let us take “This is impossible” as an example.
Let’s say you are saying this when you are learning or doing something new.
“URGH I give up, this is impossible!” – what are you really saying when you say this? It’s difficult, it’s complicated, it’s confusing???
None of these things are impossible. Yes they are scary, but not impossible.
What happens when we say things are ‘impossible’?
Yep, that’s right, we give up!
We don’t even try! Five minutes and our patience is finished.
What if we tried for five minutes longer? What if I told you that you have more energy and power in you than you think?
Yes maybe it’s uncomfortable…. but not impossible. In fact, it’s very very possible.
So what if we told ourselves a different story?
“I can learn”
“This is difficult…. and I can do it”
“Let me make time now”
“I am perfect for this task”
What if we told ourselves that again and again (and again)
I’ll tell you what happens… We begin to believe that. We begin to grow. We become more.
Let me give you a personal example:
This morning I was lying in bed telling myself “I can’t write my CV, it’s impossible, I hate it, I can’t do it” etc etc.
I caught myself.
“OK OK OK… let me try something new. I am very good at writing CVs, I am very good at writing CVs, I am very good at writing CVs, I am very good at writing CVs…”
For about 20 minutes.
I got up… and I’m not even joking… I had so many ideas. I found it difficult to write quickly enough!!
I was shocked. I didn’t know this exercise could be SO powerful.
(OK yes, I know, this isn’t to do with learning a language… but it’s the same principle.)
So how can you use it?
1. Listen to yourself through your day. Listen to yourself when you sit down to learn something. What thoughts are there? What are you saying to yourself?
2. When you find one, write it down.
3. Question this idea. Be a police officer. Is it true? Do I want this idea in my head?
Look at this idea. Clearly. Then say ‘I am willing to think differently.’
And that’s it. When you say that you want to see it differently, your brain will jump a little. When it jumps, it is already beginning to think differently.
You are beginning to change in that moment.
4. Look at the idea again. Is there another way you can say this? Can you find another way to think about you and your learning?
Maybe it will come immediately. Maybe it will come later. It doesn’t matter. It will come.
I’m not saying ideas like ‘impossible’ and ‘can’t’ are BAD. I’m saying that you are more than them. When you think them, you are putting yourself in a box. You are small… You are not going to grow there.
The question is then: do you want to grow?
Just stop telling me your story. Because I know you are more than that.
Interested in building your own confidence? Great! I’d love to work with you. Click on my contact page to find out my details and let’s talk!